im sorry.. this i gonna be a sad post again.. will i ever be living in happiness? y does everything seems so hard. LIFE IS SO HARD AND I SERIOUSLY WANNA DIE. dun hv the courage to suicide. so wad shld i do. if i can make i wish tt will come true, i wish tt i can die now. if cant now, ltr, tml, this week, next week, or next mth oso can.. dun wanna study.. dun wanna to be in a relationship. but tts wad abt it in my life now. im studying.. im someone's lousy gf. i wanna do something i like. and wish wad i wish to be can come true. but it seems so hard. nobody seems to knw wad i wish to be. or am i jus timid to say out. cos i knw it will sound stupid and unrealistic. NO SUPPORT. so does this mean i shld give up.. i dun hv determination. i dun hv confidence. and this is the biggest problem i have in my life - including being toooo sensitive. 2 years plus already. i still dun trust him. still suspecting him.. STILL BEING AFRAID HE MIGHT LEAVE ME ONE DAY. u cant blame me so being afraid rite.. and its hard to trust someone fully rite.. so many things happen n its hard to find something or even someone being "true". its hard. I GIVE UP EASILY. AND I BREAK DOWN EASILY. please dun pile up one aft another. I CANT TAKE IT. im not a very good person.. im not so kind.. im lazy.. n its very hard to make me like u if i already dislike u. might be impossible too. i hate myself. and so its hard to make me love myself. feel like just heck care everything and leave the world full of UNHAPPINESS. can u jus dun be fierce too me.. be very very very patient with me.. give in a lot a lot to me.. and put tt smile on my smile forever. can u dun make me cry anymore. everytime this happens, i wld become discouraged. and feel tt our relationship will not carry on anymore. repeats problems in future.. it will not work out. will baddies get their retribution.. can i not hv mine? i dun feel tt anyone needs me.. dun feel tt im impt to anyone.. feels like everyone dun wan us to be together. and will their wish come true.. i guess soon.. :'(