Hello.

Today finish exams and i finally can say hello to holidays!! HELLOOO

but im not happy at all :(

dun hv to fear for others.. just today's wwnk. it was really terrible. and i mean it.. its like 90% confirm ting.. and i ask myself y did i crash everything myself.. and y everytime the things i "thought" were ALL WRONG! next time u hear me say.. "i thought...." pls dun believe. its wrong.. i really cant accept and cant believe it.. just wishing for a miracle.. PLEASE.. haiz..

i tot this will end happily..

YES! tts the word.. "i tot.." whyy everytime it has to be wrong!! tell me why.. cant for just once, let it be a correct one..

anyway, i shall wait.. and really hope for smth good to happen..

holidays.. gonna find work.. haiz but haven find any yet. as usual.. really damn sad when i give up finding the job i wanna.. cos i totally got no idea how to.. and im afraid i might not do well. i really wanna hv more confidence in myself.. but for so many years, its still the same.. haiz..

its really hard in life to balance so much tingy.. u wanna satisfy this.. but oso wanna satisfy tt.. but if u satisfy one of it, another wldnt.. and its such a hard decision becos i will cause either one to b sad and heartbroken. but do they knw tt.. im even more sad and heartbroken than them to do such decisions.. sometimes really wish i can dun choose.. and everything will jus fall in place nicely. but theres no such tings.. if not it wldnt b called life. stupid idiot.

this morning, walked hm myself and held my fist tight.. there were more trees than i expected and can u imagine how how how afraid i was.. and the worst ting, got scolded when i reached home.. reached home cried and cried.. for how scared i was.. and for how much i broke their heart..

i dunno y i jus cant get over it.. its really too hard.. althou i hv made improvements by walking thru pasir ris park! but im actually cold sweating and very warm at the same time.. wanna trust dar but its so hard cos i cant imagine if it ever happen to me again.. NO! NEVERRRR!

Don't wanna make anyone sad, don't wanna break anyone's heart :(

haiz, okay enuff of the lousy stuffs.. today aft paper, went to eat Ajisen with birdie and eunice! and when we were already inside, birdie realise her discount card expired =.=! anyways, enjoyed the meal.. walked arnd tm and went home.. was a relax time with them since its holidays!!! hope we can work together!~ and things i wanna do during this holiday, wanna exercise, wanna work a little, wanna chiong maple, wanna go shopping with dar hopefully =x, wanna go kbox - 3 times.. hehe.. one with dar, another with class, another with sisters!~ :D very hard to persuade dar to go.. hais.. and i dunno class wanna go again not.. cos wad to say.. oso is spend money.. jus scared some may feel its a waste of money :( and my sisters steady pom pi pi~ lol.. but jus choosing the day ya..

another is, really wanna pei birdie go ice-skate and to dolphin lagoon~~ but jus cant find ppl to go.. actually for ice-skate, wanna ask dar to come along.. jus scared ask ppl go.. they might mind.. but i wun blame them cos i und.. so i jus hv to find the chance.. and to dolphin lagoon, if really nobody wanna go.. den i pei birdie hao le ^^ birdie if u see this gimme a kisssss LOLLLL.. ahh but she seldom come my blog de =.= always joe here joe there.. now jerry here jerry there.. lolll.. aiya shld hv post the girly joe pic here.. hahahas.. really ugly and sissy.. even gwen n birdie who is joe's supporter oso bth.. LOL.. totally spoil my image of him =.= but anyway watch him in iswak can liao.. lollll tt one den is call shuai~ LOL.. IQ200 still not shuai? hahas..

anyway tt day find xiao gui and rain de small sticker.. u knw, the one put in wallet de.. hehe anyways i wanna say again.. i got new wallet!! LOL.. okay, yah i bought rain de and its too big =.= cant put inside.. zzzzz and i put it in dar's wallet.. sobs.. and theres no xiao gui de!! arghhh..

wanna ask if anyone hv PS3 de NBA 2008 to lend me? hehe.. cant find it anywhere.. but anyways tts excuse cos even if find oso cant buy too ex :( anyway the PS3 not mine.. but i wanna try play basketball lehs.. like fun ^^

eh jus nw i say half way wad i wanna do during holiday den say till birdie.. and joe =.= okay, i wanna exercise.. play bad and go jogging with dar with my new shoes ^^ not the yellow shoe =.= haven buy tt.. :( but dar bought me adidas running shoes! hehe.. okay but tt one actually say very long ago le.. jus few weeks ago buy de.. :D

i wanna go Sentosa but dare not ask arnd cos i dunno if i really shld go.. will there be worms? :( haiz really feel feel feel like goingggg but................... arghh.. mayb i shld go.. mayb i shld not.. =.= hais. okay c hw first..

hais dun feel like slping so early but everyone's in bed already.

dar nv fails to suprise me, make me luff, bluff me, irritate me!! and nv fails to give me blue blacks =.= when he bluff trying to make fun of me zzzz, really very real =.= and i really stupid.. izzit cos i too stupid or izzit he too clever.. even when he lie, everything he says makes sense =.=! arghh darling i too stupid ahh~~ i shall bluff u next time too ^^ i will succeed!!!! =x i believe i can!!! and i believe i can win ur soccer team!!! HEHEHE! =xxx HEHEHE =x LOL

ok lah shall end here.. i siao ah type so long mayb u all didnt even read.. LOL

before i say byebye, my left thigh hurts :( and my teeth hurts :(

byebye all.. nites nites