Ytd walked arnd bugis alone while waiting for dar to finish sch..
Felt really really bored.. purposely walked one big rnd to waste time..
Didnt want to go home to see my family.
Came home today and the moment i came back,
heard her voice and for the first time, felt very irritated.
really hate her.
am i wrong in the first place?
the moment i saw the shorts, i called her immediately to see if she wants it or not..
cos i know shes looking for it.. trying hard to explain and hope she und..
in the end i only bought hers cos theres no other size left for me..
even ask my fren to help me hold her shorts while i try other shorts..
cos its the last piece and still afraid other ppl will take..
haiz.. for wad i do all these..
trying hard to explain to her tt it cannot be refunded and theres no size left at all..
but this is all wad i got..
really see no point in helping them already..
haha wad a family i have..
father and mother i love you?
lol.. i really do but everytime u all are trying hard to make me hate u all..
im really scared.. and feel really left out..
doesnt matter if im here or not..
cos nobody doesnt even care..
im just too extra.. really really dunno why am i still here..
its really funny i slapped myself just to let my specs drop and break rite..
really funny tt i hit my ownself till my hands become numb and blood clots on my thighs which appear to be really ugly..
do you knw how lonely i left.. how much i wish for more love..
how much i feel like hiding myself in a corner.. and to hide from my family..
how much i dun even wanna to see them anymore again..
how much i wanna cherish them but hate them..
why..

seems like im spinning myself..
getting crazier and crazier..
finding out how overdose can kill..
imaginations running wild
and scared of myself..
keep trembling and telling myself its ok its ok its ok..
does this world really suck?

也许不是他们讨厌我
只是我太讨厌自己了
我到底做错了什么?
真的很怕自己神经兮兮的